14 February 2007

What is with these people?

Well, we had the big briefing over the weekend in which Chimpy's Minions presented their evidence that Iran is supplying the Shi'ites in Iraq with serious weaponry. It was a PowerPoint presentation, with all the usual substance of such presentations (i.e. none), and its centerpiece was an explosively formed penetrator, or EFP, which is an anti-armor round. A guy at work was telling me all about this conclusive evidence of official Iranian involvement. The guy isn't an idiot, at least not in the functional sense, but he is an ortho-Mormon, which means he gets all his news and opinions from Approved Sources, and the only sources The Brethren have approved that aren't actually owned by the LDS Church are BTN, Radio Norsefire, and VB. Let's face it, the LDS Church and the Republican Party are symbiotic parasites that live shoulder-deep in each other's colons.

Given this limited range of sources, my coworker hasn't heard that everyone outside of Neoconjob World believes this evidence to be complete crapola. He hasn't heard that many sources consider it a bit odd that, even though we have a pile of Iranian and Iraqi Shi'ite prisoners, none of them has provided any evidence of involvement by the Iranian government or the Islamic Republican Guard. He hasn't heard that inquiring minds want to know why those weapons have English instead of Farsi on them and why they are in NATO sizes instead of the Russian sizes Iran typically uses. He hasn't heard that this sounds just like the trumped-up crap the Neoconjobbers used to justify the Iraq war in the first place. Of course he also believes that earlier trumped-up crap wasn't trumped-up crap because that's what his religious and political Fuehrers want him to believe.

Why does he live life with his head parked in his rectum? Simple. He wants to get to Heaven. Not just any Heaven, mind you, but the Celestial Kingdom, where he and his wife get to be gods of their own world and spend eternity pumping out spirit children to populate it. He wants to be able to pack his genitalia to Heaven. If you don't make it to the Celestial Kingdom, (and let's face it, nobody who believes as this blog does is going anywhere near it), then you're going genitalia-less. Frankly, I can live with that, because at least I'll be able to take my brain along. This is a message for all you religious types: If I have to check my brain to enter your Heaven, it doesn't sound like much of a paradise.


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