The Mountain Moderate

Used Teabag

2012-01-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

Halleluja, Zombie-Ghod Cheezus did not come down in all his glory last night, and Tim Teabag and the Donkeys got ass-raped all night. Hey, Tim, Jesus said to pray in your room with the door closed, not on the sidelines in front of 100,000,000 people. And to all you religious athlete-dicks who think God is going to sink that free throw for you while letting millions of children continue to starve, if that's how your religion rolls, you and your god are both shits.

Not Here

2011-12-28T09:14:00.002-07:00

I refuse to die in Utah. If I were in a car wreck, I'd drag myself to the border.

I'm Glad This Bint Is No Longer "Managing" Money

2011-11-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

Man, what unmitigated bullshit. This teabagging bint (Look at her site. She has her head in her Limbaugh, and her tongue up FundyGhod's fundament.) gets handed a brokerage position when she's 20 (probably by Daddy), spends 14 years in the game, and now calls it quits in an epic flounce because the system has been "destroyed". Where the Hell have you been the last 14 years, you twat? LTCM collapsed your first year on the job, then came the Dot Com Bomb and 9/11, and now we have The Great Recession, and you're just NOW deciding we're dealing with train wreck? That's really getting out in front of the issue, there, sister. Is that the sort of prescient advice you've been giving clients? It's a good thing you're bugging out.

First, at the risk of belaboring the obvious, if you look up "fame whore" in the dictionary, there's her picture. Second, she's a raging, white-whine Teabagger whose only sources of information are BTN, VB, and Radio Norsefire. Third, I'd like to know just how much the Koch-sucker Bros. paid her for this standard, right-wing shit sling blaming Chimpy-spawned economic demons on the uppity niggah currently in the White House.

Remember, Remember....

2011-11-05T19:58:00.000-06:00

Well, you sheeptwats, it's the Fifth of November. Yes, I know Guy Fawkes was yet another theocratic shit pie, but the bottom line is this: We are faced with an increasingly totalitarian system that has little use for the likes of us, so what are you going to do about it? The cops are kicking our heads in, and the black-robed bastards are colluding with them. What are you going to do to survive? Do the world a favor and blow up a seat of power. Eat the rich. Kill them until they get so scared they start killing themselves.

Well...

2011-07-08T19:06:00.000-06:00

...not terribly bright,
no talents worth mentioning,
definitely not good looking, and
poor as a church mouse.

The Day the Music Died

2011-04-21T22:06:00.000-06:00

The Philadelphia Orchestra filed for bankruptcy Saturday night. The Philadelphia Orchestra! Historically the best symphony in the country (Screw you New York Philharmonic and Boston Symphony.). On the verge of its final encore. We bail out every NaziCorp and cut taxes for every GoldSacks and Morgoth Chase ass weasel, but there's no money for this. This country sucks ass through a straw and is officially not worth saving.

Rahoo, Rednecks of Canada

2011-02-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

"Justice" Robert Dewar, a Canadian judge-shaped object, has sentenced a rapist to two years probation instead of three years in the big house because in Winnipeg "no" doesn't mean "no" if you aren't wearing a bra. I thought such redneck assweasels were confined to this side of the border, but apparently the High Plains is a continuous string of Turdvilles from the Arctic to the Rio Grande. It should come as no surprise that "Justice" Douchenozzle is a Con-servative appointment by Canada's Chimpy McSmirkster Lite, Stephen Harper. And it would come as no surprise, either, to find that Harper's teeny prick is permanently parked below Ye Goode Justice's prissy, little moustache.

Election

2010-11-03T06:02:00.000-06:00

So what does the election and the Great Teabagger Victory show? That the US is nothing more than an abattoir full of retarded children.

Fascist Motherfuckers Must Be Killed

2010-09-02T23:25:00.004-06:00

Let's face it, all you lame-cocked liberals: It's either us or them. The Ueberklass is sending the Teabaggers to kill us. We can either sit here and be slaughtered, or we can launch a pre-emptive strike and start wasting these walking sacks of shit.

Case in point. The US Department of Justice is suing Nazi douchebag Joe Arpaio because he isn't cooperating with a civil rights investigation. Wrong. WRONG, DOJ LIMP DICKS! The marshals need to storm the sheriff's office, kick Arpaio in his nutless crotch, and anally rape him with tasers while making him fellate them. And broadcast it all on Aridcornhola TV. And when his teabagger friends gather outside to protest, call in a napalm strike on that mob. After getting pictures of all of them so you can identify them and nape their houses. And their relatives' houses. And their fundie buttplug churches while you're at it.

There will be a slaughter, people, and I have no compunctions about which way I want it to go.

Dear Elementary School Teachers,

2010-04-04T15:34:00.001-06:00

From my sickeningly extensive experience dealing with you, I have been compelled to conclude that a disgustingly high percentage of you spend a disgustingly high percentage of class time on group projects and art projects. In other words, you are failing to teach the children necessary skills but rather are a mob of stupid, lazy-assed bitches who need killing.

Allow me to elucidate. First, group projects. To belabor the obvious, these are nothing but shams on your part to raise your pathetic class's average scores by allowing your lazy and stupid students to mooch off the smart ones. If the smart ones complain, you dock their grades. And they get beaten up some more at recess. If you claim you're preparing them for group projects at work, you're either a liar or a fool. Workplaces out of The Office are for your stupid and lazy students (and for you, you stupid, lazy-assed bitches), not for your smart students. If they are taught properly, the only group projects they will have at work will be with other smart people, and they'll be doing things like curing cancer, not busy work so the boss's bosses will believe something is actually being accomplished.

There should be no group projects. In fact if the smart kids were allowed to interact with their stupid and lazy classmates with baseball bats and shotguns and to treat you with all the respect stupid, lazy-assed bitches deserve, this country would find itself on a much better course. But since that tain't never gonna happen, we can only hope that some small percentage of the toughest of them manages to acquire the elementary skills that every other student on this planet whose education reaches beyond a Mumbai sweatshop or a Congo goat pen expects.

Second, artsy-fartsy bullshit. I have nothing against art classes, even though my graphic arts skills are roughly on the level of a spastic baboon. My problem comes when substantive classes such as English, history, and geography become nothing but a procession of arts projects. Drawing a picture for a book report instead of writing it out. Making a diorama of the Gettysburg Address. Drawing state license plates (although this admittedly might be good vocational training for the students who are heading for prison). Frankly, people, this is all bullshit, and we know what you're doing: dodging teaching real substance and grading real work.

You actually expect to get a salary, benefits, and a pension for this?

Utah, A Pretty Fuckin' Sick State

2010-03-16T18:49:00.001-06:00

So Kevin Garn, Majority Leader of the Utah House and all-around upstanding rich white Mormon guy, has resigned his seat because he did some nekkid hot-tubbing with a 15-year-old girl. There's no way to be familiar with Utah and be shocked by this. Unfortunately, there's also no way to shocked by the response when it all became public. This place is that diseased. The Des Spews (and maybe the Trib) deep-sixed the story when they got it several years ago, the LDS Church tried to cover it up (I wonder if the Vatican will bitch about the Mormons invading its territory.), and the knuckle-dragging Norsefires are vomiting the same excuses for child molestation I've been hearing here for over 30 years: He's a fine family man/church leader/rich business guy; she's unrighteous; blah, blah, blah; baa, baa, mooooo; wankity, wankity, wank. Sick, sick, sick , and hopelessly so.

So out of sheer perversity, I shall now shine the light of reason on one Mormon-assed bullshit pie after another:

BS Pie 1: She's an adult!
Reason: She is now. She was 15 then.

BS Pie 2: Clinton and Edwards and other Democrats have done it!
Reason: With adults. You guys have a real hard time figuring out this minor vs. adult thing, don't you.

BS Pie 3: 15 is plenty old enough to know what she wants from a 30-year-old!
Reason: Wow. Just wow. With an attitude like this prevalent among the orthodox, it's no wonder bat-shit crazy cults like the FLDS are the way they are. Or that child molestation is historically the favorite recreational sport in Utah County.

BS Pie 4: She extorted him!
Reason: No, she reached a $150,000 settlement with him. Which also means he knew he was in seriously deep shit, or he wouldn't have forked over that kind of scratch.

BS Pie 5: She signed a nondisclosure agreement!
Reason: A contract not to report a crime is unenforceable. Laying your Johnson on a 15-year-old is a crime. Even in Utah, at least technically.

BS Pie 6: This was all fixed by agreement with the blessing of the Church!
Reason: I know you bilge-barfers believe that in the best of all possible worlds, the LDS Church would once again be the state, but that ain't the way things are, and criminal cases are supposed to be left up to law enforcement and the DA.

BS Pie 7: The Church had no duty to report!
Reason: As a preliminary point, isn't it funny how the ones who would gut the First Amendment by making the LDS Church the state are the first ones to hide behind the First Amendment on points like this? But I digress. If the perpetrator had spilled his guts during confessional, you'd be right. But the LDS Church learned about this from the victim. And then mediated a settlement. So you're cosmically wrong. And the LDS Church cosmically broke the law by failing to report a crime.

BS Pie 8: But the statute of limitation had run!
Reason: Many sex crimes against minors have no statute of limitation. It's up to law enforcement and the DA to decide whether the facts fit one of those crimes, not an institution with a Hell of a lot to hide. Plus, if there was a crime involved in the settlement, it wasn't extortion by her, it was witness tampering by him, and that statute hasn't run yet.

The pies go on ad infinitum, but it gets a bit redundant after awhile.

Does Utah Need the Utah Symphony?

2010-01-10T13:22:00.005-07:00

Yes, I'm blogging again already. Wonders never cease. You see, music matters to me, which is why I couldn't leave this article in the Trib about the Utah Symphony without a comment.

Does Utah need the Utah Symphony? No. There are many of us who liked having a world-class symphony here when we had one, but if we aren't going for that level, we aren't really interested. And Utah's history of aiming for that level is not good.

Back in the 1980s I had season tickets every year. Silverstein was in charge and presented exciting interpretations of exciting music. We attracted top-flight soloists and ensembles. The house was full for every performance, and not just with Federal Heights Olde Phartes; there were plenty of us 20- and 30-somethings there, too. It was a scene.

Things had not always been thus. Ten years earlier, the concerts in the Tabernacle had been events strictly for the tasteless and the dead. Maurice Abravanel had arrived with his repertoire in 1947, with both he and the repertoire fully embalmed. They remained, perfectly preserved, for 32 years. We rarely heard anything earlier than Beethoven, other than Handel's Mess for the annual Xmas orgy. We never heard anything later than Mahler, other than the occasional commissioned piece that always sounded like a Mahler knock-off. Abravanel took the Arthur Fiedler road to market the Symphony, making an endless string of pop recordings for a mass audience to familiarize the brand name. And it was all about as interesting as watching paint dry. Even his mindless gyrations at the podium became dull long before he finally stepped down.

And the yokels here loved him. Thought he was a god. Still do. He's their idea of the way things are supposed to be. It's a chronic problem around here; people deify any artistic hack that looks their way. Typical small town attitude. We're the ugly girl at the dance who melts with pure infatuation when the BMOC comes over and barfs behind our chair. It was our chair he tossed his guts behind! How totally awesome!

(Please don't get me started on the local infatuation with Ueber-Hack Glade Peterson and how everyone here thinks he was such a great talent and such a great representative of "The Church." Because I might be compelled to point out that they didn't let him into The Met until he was 47, and that after that he promptly retired from real performances and ran home to found the Utah Opera, and that he had a habit of chasing every skirt in the chorus. Oops.)

Finally, though, Abravanel got wheeled off like Dr. Strangelove, and Kojian took over. A new hall, one with acoustics that weren't akin to a missile silo. A repertoire for grown-ups, not for people who only wanted to hear pieces with themes that had been ripped off for pop tunes. Greatly improved musicianship, as the fossilized hacks whose chairs had been sinecures under Abravanel were broken in rank or booted altogether. Things looked really good. Then Kojian banged one of the musicians. Only in Utah would this get a conductor fired, but this was Utah.

As luck would have it, though, the powers brought in Silverstein, and he kept right on charging down the same road. And the joint was rockin', kiddies.

But eventually it came time for Silverstein to retire, and the powers reverted to their natural, Abravanelesque proclivities. They hired Keith "Gilderoy" Lockhart, who is about as deep as a tea saucer, and the concerts were once again slick, pop twaddle that slid off your mind before you even walked out of the concert hall. And attendance plummeted as anyone with an ear lost interest. And no one did a thing about it. Oh, the powers fretted endlessly about lost revenue but professed total ignorance about the source of the problem. In other words, the "response" was the usual Utah crap.

And so, inevitably, here we are. Times are hard, the Symphony is broke, and too few care. Hiring Thierry Fischer was a good step, but he now conducts three symphonies, and this is by far the weakest of the three. When it comes down to it, and it will, where will his focus be?

Does Utah need the Utah Symphony? Not if this is all it's going to be. It's just stealing scarce resources from artists who actually want to amount to something.

Newpy Hap Year

2010-01-07T22:09:00.004-07:00

Well, survived another round of bullshit holidays. Watched the usual gang of American idiots burn what was left of their plastic for shit from Chinese sweatshops. Just wait until the banksters jack your rates to 30%, morons. Then you'll be joining the burgeoning bankruptcy ranks. Such a recovery we have for you. Everything is fine, just ask the National Association of Real-Turds, GoldSacks, or JP Morgoth Chase.

Because we're transcendently broke, we did Christmas Old School, i.e. the gifts were mostly the pleasure of each others company, with a few homespun items thrown in. In other words, we were bad for America because we FAILED to CONSUME. Fuck you, crapitalism, and the horse you rode in on. I was warming the crew up for going back to the farm and going Amish. And when I have the orchard, the garden, the vineyard, the hives, the woodlot, the spring house, the hen house, the goats, the smoke house, etc., etc., etc. going and I'm off grid, you can take this buying 'til you bleed crap and shove it up your ass. And knowing you, you'll love every inch of it.

No, you rich dungfuckers have ground the rest of us down so far that you're about to reap the whirlwind. You think you'll be able to keep redneck rage aimed at minorities? Think again. Some day soon, one of your tools is going to be inciting the masses, and I'm going to walk up and butt-stroke the little shitstain with my 12 gauge, and then I'm going to grab the podium and say, "Wait a minute! What do you need? Money! Do the Mexicans have money? No! Do the blacks have money? No! Do any of the people this pathetic turd was fulminating against have money? No! Who has money? This pathetic turd has money. And his masters over in Bufforpington Estates have money. Let's go get it!"

And then we're going to burn your banks down. And then we're going to burn your houses down. And then we'll have our way with your daughters and wives, who will probably like it given that all the latter have had for decades is limp-dicked preppies like you, and all the former have to look forward to is your even limper-dicked preppy spawn. Then we'll tie you behind a pick-up, light you on fire, and drag you while we stand in the back of said pick-up and piss on you in a not terribly serious effort to put you out.

In other words, we're going to ram our fists so far up your asses, our knuckles will tickle your belly buttons.

In other other words, we are going to take everything you are and ever will be.

Defeat from the Jaws of Victory

2009-11-22T22:05:00.003-07:00

So Dave Checketts delivers the second national title in SLC history (The other being the Utah Stars a million years ago. Jesus H. Miller and the Utah Jazzbos have always been also-rans.), and then takes all the euphoria away. He's sold a 49% stake in the team to Dell Loy Hansen, the sleazeball land developer uber-Mormon who slid all the illegal cash to Whora Miller's campaign. Way to go Dave. I hear the Knicks are looking for talent, and they can't get any more fucked up than they already are. Don't let the doorknob....

Altucher=Fucker

2009-11-08T15:34:00.002-07:00

If you had any lingering doubts about the complete contempt our Financial Overlords have for us, you need look no further than James Altucher's drivel on Huffington Post. He claims that the following five points have been shown to be myths by the current recession:

1. Saving is good
2. Inflation is bad
3. Debt is bad
4. Mark to market accounting is good
5. Unemployment is bad.

These are myths only if you are already a member of the Ueberklass, a financial vampire sucking the life out of society, in other words a James Altucher. For the rest of us, every one of those points is truer than ever. The Ueberklass, though, wants us to believe these truths are lies so they can go on owning us.

Altucher really ought to change his name to Lames AllFucker, because he is lame and he aims to fuck all of us. And he ought to rename his website, Stockpickr, to "Cocklickr", because that's what he does, lick the cocks of the Ueberklass Commandants who give him his marching orders. Even more pathetic, though, are the comments to this drivel. What is the point of arguing with him? The only way to get a member of the Ueberklass to pay attention to you is to show up at his yuppie hive with a shotgun, cut him in half with, and take everything he has and is.

Spengler Explained

2009-05-29T18:48:00.003-06:00

Back in January 2008 I wrote an entry about a columnist in Asia Times that went by the nom de plume of Spengler. The gist of the entry was, "Who is this idiot?"

Now we know. He's David P. Goldman, an associate editor for First Things, a rag that never met a piece of Right Catholic apologia it couldn't find room to print. It's no wonder he has the logic skills of a turnip. Or Max Boot.

Ephraim Shows Why Utah Sucks Ass

2009-05-25T08:12:00.009-06:00

Yes, believe it or not I'm posting again. I dove for cover before the election because I expected the walking sewers who make up about 30% of This Great Nation(TM) (and who make up well over half of this Pretty, Great Shithole) to pull out their bottomless arsenals and start wasting when Nigger O failed to know his place and became President (Let's face it folks, it's all about race.). They didn't, thus showing that they're really just a bunch of gutless loudmouths that we ought to box up and dump in the ocean, although I still expect one of them to blow Obama away before this is all over.
But now I've decided to resurface. And it's because I'm sick of this place and I intend to get the Hell out if it's the last thing I do. This article in the Trib says it all. The local White people get to celebrate their ancestry in the cemetary for Memorial Day, but the Mexicans have to go down the road. No doubt the Paiutes have to go down the road too.
It looks racist, and there's undoubtedly an element of that, but I assure that isn't really what's going on. Because I assure you that, as lily-white Scandihoovian as I am, if I tried celebrating my ancestry in the cemetary, I'd meet the same reaction as the Mexicans and Paiutes. Because while I may be a "Swensonjensenmonson," I am not an "Elder Swensonjensenmonson."
You see, the cemetary displays are about pioneers. And as Ephraim City Councilcritter Terry Lund makes clear in his display of standard-issue Mormon shitheadedness, the fact that the Mexicans and Paiutes were here before the Mormons doesn't matter because nothing really happened before the Mormons got here. And the non-Mormons who came after don't count even though they came along with most of the Mormons who now inhabit the place because it's the Mormon pioneers who count.
The Mormons are the only ones who count. They're the only ones who've ever counted, and they'll always be the only ones who count. Just look at the Fools on the Hill (the Legislature and our soon-to-be Governor). I had thought the Olympics had changed things. I was wrong. So I'm giving up, I'm getting out, and I hope Global Warming bakes this place to a crackly crunch.

Sutherland Institute Still Whores? Check!

2008-10-03T21:20:00.003-06:00

And the latest bleating from what likes to call itself a conservative public-policy think tank but is better called a neoconjob putrid-policy stink tank is policy anal-cyst Matthew C. Piccolo playing his skin piccolo (Doesn't amount to a flute.) for his corporate masters, decrying the evils of universal health care. You see, good health just isn't a right. He makes a lot of noise about the "God-given" rights of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," which only means that he, like his deity Ronnie Rayguns doesn't know the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution (I swear these Norsefires would repeal the necrophilia laws if it meant they could fellate Rayguns's rotting corpse.). Not a lot of logic in any of it, though (I am shocked, shocked!). I guess you have a right to life, but the kind of shape you're in just doesn't matter.

That's no big surprise, because the Sutherland Institute doesn't consider life to be much of a right (Just look at how little they care about how arbitrary and capricious capitol punishment procedure is. Or pretty much anything having to do with staying alive if you weren't born rich.). They don't consider liberty to be much of a right either, judging by their views on privacy and search and seizure. No, the only thing they're interested in is property, and then only the kind of property you have to be rich to have.

But let's start with property and run with it. You'd think there would be little debate that your body is your property, so you have a right to it. Apparently not, as far as the Sutherland Insta-poop is concerned. If your employer exposes you to hazardous working conditions and injures you, that should be just tough. That's a risk you have to take because we don't want to interfere with your employer's property. If your friendly neighborhood factory poisons your water and gives you cancer, that's just another risk you have to take because we don't want to interfere with the factory owner's property.

As far as the Sutherland Insta-poop is concerned, there is no right to life (unless you haven't been born yet), there is no right to liberty, and the only property that creates a right is that of the rich and powerful.

Yes, I'm Still Here

2008-10-03T17:38:00.003-06:00

There's just so much bad craziness, I don't know where to start.

How about the Inspector General's report that blames Kyle Sampson for the improper firing of all those insufficiently fascist US District Attorneys? You know those orders came from above him, but I have to laugh that this is being pinned on such an archetypal BYU Law grad. They train them to follow orders down there in Provo, and that's what he did. He would have made a great concentration camp commander.

Meanwhile, the Park City schools have adopted International Baccalaureate programs in an attempt to make US high school diplomas something more than the laughing stocks they currently are internationally. You may recall the Utah Legislature's dual dipshits Margaret Dayton and Howard Stephenson shooting down funding for this back in May because they thought it was run by the UN. Those two have decided to let it proceed now, although they intend to keep an eye on this subversion. The private sector, though, has picked up the torch of dipshittiness and is running full steam. Cherilyn Bacon(brain) Eagar, director of World Class Education Research which she runs out of Holladay (Yeah, that sounds like a real "world class" operation.), says that the program is run by UNESCO and so preaches socialist dogma and that it doesn't surprise her that Park City adopted the program because it's the "Hollywood of the Rocky Mountains."

Folks, if you want to know why the US is spinning in at Mach 6, it isn't because of immigrants or declining morals or secular humanism or any other Norsefire bugaboo. It's because our education system is controlled by people like Baconbrain: Right Catholics, Fundies, Orthomorms, people who don't have the mental capacity of a squashed banana slug.

Let's call it what it is

2008-08-27T07:36:00.003-06:00

The headline this morning read, "People of faith challenge Democrats." The story was about the usual gang of idiots (Fundy Christians, Ortho Jews, Right Catholics) protesting abortion rights, gay rights, etc., etc., etc.

Hey, assholes, I'm a person of faith. You are a mob of self-righteous shitheads who want the rest of us to live according to your asinine interpretations of the campfire stories of Bronze Age sheep herders. Why don't you people find a group of islands (preferably in Southeast Asia, where you can be in a monsoon track and surrounded by pirates) and build your little theocracies there?

Texas Joins Utah in Declaring Right to Child Molestation

2008-05-23T05:44:00.005-06:00

A Texas appeals court has decided there was no evidence to support the seizing of the FLDS children (Are you telling me, oh Great Black Robed Ones, there was NO EVIDENCE of a pattern of underage pregnancies by adult males? I'm incredulous, but then you are Texas judges, which means you're probably illiterate.). Great. Now these clowns will act with even greater impudence, believing that God will keep justice from stopping their holy perversions. I'm beginning to think that their sick God (the one also worshiped by what seems to be a majority of Christians, although they try to hide it), really does run this country, which would explain a lot.

This much I know: Any society that so utterly fails to protect its most at risk members needs to go down for the protection of us all. Fortunately, the US is in the process of destroying itself. The Rethuglicans have done such a job that there may be nothing to do but sit back, crack open a cold one, and watch the great train wreck.

And speaking of particularly Utah perversions...

2008-04-17T08:49:00.002-06:00

...how about the Legislature? The Rethuglicans railroaded an omnibus education bill last session that had as many ingredients as fruitcake. Now a citizen group is filing a suit challenging the constitutionality of that suit because, hey, the State Constitution has a single-subject requirement. And Greg Curtis, Speaker of the House and point-whore for his law firm's lobbying efforts, is pissed. He thinks it's an invasion of the Legislature's authority for the courts to interpret the Constitution. These assclown Norsefires are never going to get that checks-and-balances thing or that it's the courts' job to interpret the Constitution. No, they're rich, white, Mormon patriarchs, and they can run anything better than you. Including your own life.

Speaking of pervs...

2008-04-16T20:01:00.003-06:00

...the Texas raid on the FLDS compound is proceeding to the hearing stage. The news there is full of stories of how the courts, the state bar, law enforcement, social service agencies, and many others are working together to overcome the logistical nightmare of such a big case in such an isolated area so that the kids are protected while everybody gets a fair day in court. The Utah news, on the other hand, is full of histrionics about how the Texas authorities have gone too far and how the children are being traumatized by separation from their parents (as opposed to the trauma of being a child bride [for the girls] or being brainwashed into believing having a child bride is a good idea [for the boys]). This state is just sick.

Alright all you pervs...

2008-04-16T19:49:00.003-06:00

...Emma Watson is legal now. Turned 18 earlier this week. Like a cute, rich girl who pulled straight A-Levels is going to want anything to do with you fat, pathetic, wimpy, geeky wankers.

Ben Stein is a Whore

2008-04-13T10:39:00.004-06:00

Well, OK, that was a given. The whoredom of anyone who was a speech writer for Tricky Dick is thoroughly established. Stein, though, has been working on his intellectual credentials the last several years (Intellectual by US standards, that is, which means you drool only a little and can usually get to the bathroom by yourself. Which is yet another reason the rest of the world views the US as a joke. A cruel joke with too much money, too many weapons, and not enough sense to manage either.). Now he is using his new "legitimacy" in his new film "Expelled," which supposedly exposes the persecution of those who espouse "intelligent design" (I put that in quotes because there is in fact nothing intelligent about "intelligent design." And there are good reasons mainstream science doesn't accept it as an alternative theory, such as: 1) little if any evidence offered supporting it, its proponents focusing instead on attacking evolution, and failing miserably; 2) no methodology for potentially falsifying the theory, understandable since it's in fact scripturally based and most of its proponents can accept no falsifying; and 3) no methodology for scientifically examining an intelligent designer. Stein, along with all the other proponents, simply ignores all this and claims "academic persecution.").

The depth of Stein's intellectualism is apparent, though, in his marketing of the film. There have been no screenings for critics, and the only screenings have been for carefully selected groups of evangelicals. In other words, Stein's film is an exploitive shit fest that he expects to rake in a bunch of cash by preaching to the choir, not by actually exploring the issues. I am so shocked.

Mallard Fillpants, Tax Expert

2008-04-13T10:07:00.003-06:00

After being quiet for awhile, that assclown anidae Mallard Fillpants is making noise just in time for taxes. Using that oh-so-reliable waste dump The Tax Foundation as his source, he trots out the factoid that the average American works until April 30th to pay off the tax burden (a right-wing factoid that has been shown time and again to be a marvel of massaged bookkeeping). Then he really goes off the deep end and claims that the Kennedy, Ray-guns, and Chimpy tax cuts increased tax revenues (i.e. that supply side dreckonomics works), even though no one has yet to show any connection between those cuts and any supposed increases in tax revenues (Kennedy's increased revenues were the result of the business cycle, with the country recovering from the recession that hit at the end of the Eisenhower years. Ray-guns "increased" revenue through a series of accounting tricks and smoke-and-mirrors. If revenue increased under Chimpy, it was the result of the false economic growth of the last few years, fueled by real estate and mortgage speculation, and it's all gone now. Fillpants is also ignoring that Ray-guns and Chimpy were cutting taxes for the wealthy while increasing the deficit, thereby increasing the long-term tax load for the rest of us.).

Then he goes for the patently absurd, still relying on The Tax Foundation, and claims that the average American spent more on state and federal taxes last year than on food, clothing, and housing combined. Wait a minute. Pull out your 1040 and your state tax form. Add up the total taxes you paid, even before any refund. Is that as much as you paid on mortgage/rent last year? I didn't think so. Let alone adding food and clothing in. It never ceases to amaze me the brass-plated bullshit Norsefire keeps shoveling at us. And the average moron on the street eats it up with a big spoon.

Texas Busts Perverts Utah Wouldn't Touch

2008-04-13T08:40:00.004-06:00

For such a lightly populated state (There are fewer people in Utah than in the Seattle-Tacoma area, for example.), there is a mind-numbing amount of stupidity packed in here. Just watch any governing body in action. Or the broadcasts of the semi-annual drivel fest known as LDS General Conference, one of which we had clog the arteries of normal life just last weekend. But certainly the most malevolent example of Utah stupidity has been the wink-wink nod-nod it's given the mobs of child molesters hiding in plain sight in polygamist compounds for over a century. Utah has ostensibly given them a pass on religious freedom grounds, although anyone with more wit than a sack of shit knows that religious freedom does not allow you to nail your pubescent niece (I suspect there were two other reasons for turning a blind eye: 1) too many members of Families That Matter secretly involved, and 2) opening that can of worms would also have opened up the orthodox LDS Church's child molestation problem, which isn't limited to little girls.). In spite of this local epidemic of thickness, Utah finally managed to prosecute and convict the leader of the largest group of pervs, the FLDS Church, but it took everything Utah fucktard law enforcement had to do it.

Because of the Utah "persecution," the FLDS moved their headquarters to west Texas. What they didn't figure, though, was that the Texans had no motivation to look the other way (covering up the "sexual indiscretions" of evangelical Christians and right-wing politicians is another matter), so the Rangers kicked the door in and hauled the kids out. There has been much hand-wringing by the usual gang of idiots here in Utah over "persecution" and "oppression," but sane people (i.e. people from anywhere else) generally echo church-state scholar and attorney Marci Hamilton's statement, "Nobody's had the guts to do what Texas authorities did...finally a group of authorities realized they couldn't let it go on any more."

So what do we take away as lessons? First, the obvious point that, in spite of constant noise about caring for children, Utah cares far less about children than it does about the maintenance of the appearance of propriety and of religious authority. Second, and ultimately more importantly, is that we once again see what religion is really about: abusing the weak. Every religion in this country that claims any significant amount of authority (polygamists, LDS, evangelicals, Roman Catholic) have been exposed as having used that authority to commit heinous crimes and then cover them up for years. What do these criminal organizations offer society in return? A road to Heaven through their sewage? If you cling to such idiocy for comfort, I would submit that you too have been abused by these paragons of piety and are so brainwashed that your opinion needs hermetically sealed, not allowed to shape public policy.

Jeez, Lohra...

2008-03-25T16:06:00.002-06:00

...you make this so easy.

Aside from being 24-hour party people at home (and never getting busted for it; hmmm, I wonder just how beholden Whora is to the cops), Our Glorious DA ran her business for years without a business license. She has stated to the media that, essentially, she considers it no big deal. Now, I have admit that I may be vaguely aware (COUGH) of people I'm acquainted with (COUGH COUGH) having operated businesses without licenses. But here's the deal, Lohra: You're the DA, and it's never good when the DA says that ignoring the law "tain't no thang." This is just more evidence supporting what I wrote 11 April: The girl wasn't, isn't, and probably never will be ready for prime time.

I just have to say this

2008-03-25T15:50:00.002-06:00

But first let me say that my long-time best friend is Roman Catholic. Let me also say that there are a lot of batshit crazy people in other religions. Hell, being Mormon and batshit crazy are prerequisites for entering politics in Utah.

But not batshit crazy enough to have junior high kids act out The Lashin' o' the Christ. Last week the kids at St. John the Baptist Middle School (attached to Juan Diego High) performed the 14 Stations of the Cross for Easter, complete with flogging, fake blood, and crucifixion. It never ceases to amaze me how much blood lust the RCC insists on whipping up to celebrate The Prince of Peace.

Where is Spengler from?

2008-01-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

I read the Asia Times. I read a lot of foreign news sources, mainly because there aren't any domestic ones any more, but I try to hit the AT every day. The commentators tend to be too gold-buggy (If things get as bad as the average gold bug predicts, gold will be nearly as worthless as paper currency; the only things people will want are land to raise food and weapons to protect the land and the food.), and too free-markety (Until it becomes as easy to move labor as it is to move capital, the world's flat only if you're rich.), but they're generally tolerable. Except for Spengler. To answer the title question, he must be from Dumbfuckistan. With one side of his mouth he decries US budget and trade deficits and current military fiascoes while with the other side he deifies Ronny Ray-guns, whose eight-year reign of terror was the largest collection of deficits and military fiascoes prior to the current eight-year reign of terror, and who thoroughly set the table for Chimpy and his merry band of neoconjobbers.

Which is it Spengler, you ass clown? With logic like that, you ought to be working for Fux Spews.

State Crapitol

2008-01-06T09:19:00.001-07:00

So the State Capitol building has been rededicated, with lots of blather about its being "The House of the People." Ceremonies were presided over by the Sultan of Senility Gordon B. Hinckley, and there's a brand new bunker in the basement for the governor to hide in so he can avoid The People (except for those properly vetted by the Rethuglican hierarchy). I guess that pretentious pile of putrescence really is "The House of the People" because, let's face it folks, this is all the people of Utah really amount to.

Speaking of religious Groupthink...

2007-12-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

...how about the brouhaha over The Golden Compass. I had to laugh at the item in the Madeleine Choir School's newsletter warning against the movie because it represents the "new face of atheism," which is "aggressive, dogmatic, and unrelenting." Gee, that sounds like Catholicism and any other form of Christo-fascism. Maybe the real problem with the movie is that they don't like competition.

Thank you, UHP...

2007-12-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

...for proving the point I was making in my last post. Trooper Jon Gardner's tasing of Jared Massey in September has been all over the internet. Rational people consider it dick-swinging, cop machismo. UHP, though, has completed its "review" and concluded that Gardner's actions were "reasonable." Of course as far as cops are concerned, anything they do is reasonable. Gardner could have taken a flame thrower to Massey, and that would have been just fine. Anyone still wonder why prosecutors shouldn't take their orders from cops?

Of course the real problem is that there are civilians who think Gardner's behavior was justified. Centerville's own Margaret Hale believes that Gardner was justified because Massey was "aggressive and confrontational" and "is not a humble man." Remember that Gardner tased Massey not once but twice and threatened more. Hale is undoubtedly a Relief Society member and so I suppose should be forgiven for believing that everyone is supposed to simply lay down and spread 'em for any male, authority figure who comes along, but it is truly disturbing how the Dominant Cultural Group here keeps assuming that everyone is going to think, believe, and behave the same as them.

And speaking of more whores...

2007-11-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

...it's time prosecutors got a grip (on something other than cops' willies, because let's face it, prosecution is nothing but mutual masturbation). I won't say anything about the Feds because they're hopeless; Congress has spinelessly given them a set of tools the Spanish Inquisition would drool over, including a whole pile of felonies that require no meaningful intent whatsoever, and now they're doing what comes naturally. No, I'm going to focus locally, and specifically on Lohra "Whora" Miller of Salt Lake County and Jeff "Spew" Buhman of Utah County. Somewhere along the line, these two worthies came to believe that being a good prosecutor means that the victims are your clients, and your bosses are the cops. They charge whatever the cops drag through the door, and they won't cut a deal unless the cops and the victims agree to it.

This is wrong. While victims make a sympathetic group, if they want represented, they can look up one of the full-page ads for plaintiffs' attorneys in the Yellow Pages and call the 800 number. Prosecutors represent the public as a whole, not select individuals. That's why criminal cases are headed "State vs. Doe," not "Victim vs. Doe," and charging and plea decisions should be based on the general welfare, not the victim's.

As for cops, there's a reason they don't have charging authority. They get excited. They throw the book at every jaywalker. They taser and shoot people who look cross-eyed at them. Their objectivity is, shall we say, suspect. So the prosecutor makes the charging decisions. If the prosecutor then turns around and charges everything the way the cops want it, what's the point?

So here's some advice to you, Whora and Spew and all the hundreds of other prosecutors who think like you. If you want to represent victims, get into private practice and stop sucking on tax dollar tit. And if your case decisions are dictated by the cops, you're not a prosecutor, you're a whore who has one of those "special arrangements" with law enforcement.

Speaking of whores...

2007-11-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

...Paul Mero-vingian, president of that fascist Mormon crapfest the Sutherland Institute, opines that the voucher vote does not resolve who controls education. He has no idea how right he is. It ought to be parents and school boards. Our glorious legislature begs to differ.

Taking advantage of the dark places under the big rock that is the Rethuglican majority in the legislature, there is already a proposal to give tax credits for contributions to private school scholarships (mere tax deductions not being enough); Chris Bramble and Howard Stephenson are working to make the State School Board partisan and place it under the control of the Huns who run the state Rethuglican Party, a group that booed Orrin Hatch and Mike Leavitt as being too liberal; and Chris Butt-head wants the legislature to have oversight on the judiciary, largely as a reaction to the Supreme Court having the temerity to rule that the referendum laws mean what they say and that the people get a meaningful vote on the legislatures actions.

Why should anyone be surprised that a bunch of Mormon bishops and stake presidents, who believe they have a divine imprimatur to tell everyone how to run their lives, want to reverse a landslide vote. We were obviously misled, and the legislature is doing this for our own good.

Vouchers

2007-11-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Well, , the voters overwhelmingly shot down taking tax money from public schools and giving it to rich people who send their kids to private schools, and the Norsefire response has been predictable. People were duped by the teachers' union. The Cato Institute, proving once again that it isn't in favor of liberty and freedom of choice but rather is just a whore for rich fascists, says so. Robert Enlow of the Friedman Foundation, proving likewise, says so. And Fux Spews of course says so. Voters were misled by all that union money.

Let's ignore that rural Utah sensibly voted its pocketbook, seeing vouchers for what they were: taking money from their schools and giving it to rich city folk. Let's ignore the millions that rich Nazis spent supporting vouchers, including Patrick Byrne's $4+ million and Larry Miller's full-page bullshit fest in the Trib. Let's ignore the lies from the voucher side, such as the claim that Mormons would be disobeying scripture if they voted against vouchers, or that Bill Clinton is pro-voucher just because he once was interested in the Milwaukee plan (which BTW is needs-based, in contrast to the Utah plan, which would have paid regardless of the wealth of the recipient), or the lie by omission that Richard and Linda Eyre could stack Oreos all day, but what they were really doing was stealing our Oreos and putting them in their pockets. Yeah, let's ignore that. It must have been the union money.

Even Merrill "De Doop De Doop" Cook, who led the 1988 voucher campaign, saw that the voucher people had way overplayed their hand and were going down hard. But no, it's just that people can't make these decisions for themselves.

Speaking of Larry Miller and the 1988 voucher campaign, his parents were among the leaders of the opposition to that campaign. I wonder what they would think of their over-funded and under-souled son if they were around to see this.

The Rot in Zion

2007-09-22T10:49:00.000-06:00

If we need further evidence that there is something profoundly wrong with Utah, let us compare two prosecutions. Orem continues to persecute Betty Perry with the full of the law for failing to maintain a sufficiently green lawn here in our drought-ridden desert. On the other hand, how many years has it taken for anyone to get around to prosecuting Warren Jeffs (or any of the other holy perverts around here, for that matter)? The sick thing is, I wouldn't be surprised if he were acquitted, merely because he's a religious leader practicing his beliefs. That's why he hasn't been prosecuted, after all. Utah and the LDS Church like to hold themselves out as cities on the hill for all us sinners follow, but they still haven't figured out that it's just plain wrong to encourage someone to nail his 14-year-old cousin.

Winning Hearts and Minds?

2007-08-13T13:52:00.000-06:00

Well, I see the US military in Iraq has not progressed at all since Vietnam in the art of winning over indigenous populations. A place called FOB Warhorse segregates the Iraqi civilian employees into separate and inferior restrooms, showers, and chow lines. The Army gives two excuses for this: 1) We need to isolate them for security purposes, and 2) they misuse the showers and toilets. Concerning the first excuse, if we can't control whom we let into the house any better than that, these little segregation tactics won't help. Further, many of these Iraqis bunk in the same tents as the troops they translate for. It seems they have all the access they need if they are actually in league with a terrorist group.

Concerning the second excuse, US military personnel have been circulating those stories about every non-Anglo group they come in contact with for just about forever. During the Civil War, it was the Blacks and Irish who couldn't use a toilet properly and had no hygiene. During WWI the French couldn't use a toilet, even though they had to teach us how to build a field latrine. All the Iraqis contacted say they know how to use the plumbing, and there is no indication in the news reports that there has been any training offered for those who don't.

Sounds like the personnel policies are based on bullshit, which should come as no surprise since the whole war is based on bullshit.

What is the Deal with Development?

2007-08-13T13:37:00.000-06:00

Last week's Mallard Fillpants reminded me of a conundrum that has been making noise on the right since the Supreme Court's Kelo decision. The right wingers have been thumping their tubs hard over eminent domain being used to turn land over to private developers, claiming it's yet another step toward a socialist dictatorship. The thing that puzzles me is that the overwhelming majority of developers cashing in on this process are themselves right wingers who use significant portions of their booty to support right wing causes and candidates. Is this just the usual conservative logic disconnect, or is there a deeper game going on?

Orem Flogs Grandma

2007-07-12T09:39:00.002-06:00

This has been in the news all over the world, and I can think of no more deserving town, except maybe Provo. An Orem cop bloodies a 70-year-old woman's nose while trying to arrest her for not watering her lawn. Only in fucking Utah.

The cops of course are closing ranks and lying like rugs (not exactly unique to Utah). They claim she fell while being arrested; she says she was hit in the face with handcuffs. They claim she refused to identify herself; she says she was just trying to call her son.

Let's assume it makes sense to ticket people for not flood-irrigating their lawns during a drought. If this were the civilized world, there would have been a pre-printed ticket with the record owner's name on it for the cop to serve on the lady. Even if she didn't identify herself, hauling her off to jail wouldn't have been the first response. But this wasn't the civilized world. It was Orthomorm, which is Dark Ages Europe with SUVs.

But does it make sense to require all these green lawns in a desert? Does it make sense to make it criminal not water your lawn in a drought? Does it make sense to make a convict out of a septuagenarian pensioner who can't afford the water bill? Only in Utah.

Loose Cannon

2007-07-12T09:21:00.000-06:00

So, now that David Iglesias isn't being a good little neoconjob whore and taking the fisting they're giving him, Chris Cannon is claiming Iglesias was fired because he was "incompetent" and "an idiot" and that there is no evidence of any political motivation in the firing. The fact that these allegations run counter to Iglesias's job reviews and Domenici's machinations and that the only reason we haven't found more political motivations for the firing is because the White House is illegally stonewalling the investigation makes no difference to Cannon. He's a true believer who will never let facts get in his way. He's exactly like 1/3 of the population of the US and 2/3 of the population of Utah: an empty brain box parked shoulder deep in his own colon.

Lohra Whora Miller

2007-04-10T08:18:00.000-06:00

Our new district attorney is proving to be everything I expected her to be and less. Back during the campaign, I met both Sam Gill and Lohra Miller. Both were personable and had been practicing law for a respectable length of time. I chose Gill for two reasons. First, he had far more felony experience. Miller had done effectively nothing but city misdemeanors. Second, Gill had supervisory experience; Miller had none. Those added up to a maturity level that only time and experience can provide.

During the campaign, events supported my choice. One of the sleaziest RWNJ property developers in the valley, Dell Loy Hansen (FYI, anyone with that Mormon of a name is presumptively a RWNJ sleazeball.), was getting around the contribution limit by giving "bonuses" to employees with instructions that the bonuses be contributed to Miller. One of the employees blew the whistle. Miller, rather than saying, "Oops, this isn't right, I'm giving the money back," said, "Well, Gill isn't in compliance with the election laws either, because he hasn't listed the addresses of all his contributors." This is not the kind of thing you want to hear from the top law enforcement official in the county. First, Gill hadn't done anything wrong. Contribution information is routinely incomplete when the contributions have to be reported. That's why there's a procedure for amending reports. Second, Miller and Hansen had done something wrong, namely circumvented the donation limits. If she couldn't see the difference, she shouldn't be handling major, criminal cases.

I should note that the joint AG/DA task force that investigated this mess declined to file charges, citing that because Miller was not an office-holder and Hansen was not a government contractor, there had been no crime. I can't believe there isn't some civil penalty that should be imposed, at least against Miller, such as at least disgorging the improper contributions. On the other hand, it wouldn't surprise me if there weren't. This is Utah.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, and Miller shows how owned she is. Back in February a Taylorsville cop greased a citizen and then filed a false report blaming the deceased. Miller isn't pressing charges. Why? The Blue Line closed ranks and whined at her (There is nothing whinier than a cop.), so she declined to charge. In other words, she charges the way the cops want her to charge. That's a sell-out, and prosecutors who charge like that should be walking the streets like the whores they are, not sitting behind desks making charging decisions. That includes you, Lohra

More Clinton Flogging

2007-04-04T09:00:00.000-06:00

Received an email this morning from a RWNJ acquaintance setting out the supposed sins of the Clintons. Maybe you've seen it:

Bill & Hillary: Worse than you thought & worth remembering , and this came
from a Democrat

Dear (Ex ) President Clinton:

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for
Clinton-Gore."  So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my
"Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:

1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica
Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick.
Did I leave anyone out?

2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex.  I had really
planned to wait until he was a little older to discuss it with him, but
now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.

3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place
(especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to
know is what the meaning of "it" is.  It really is great to know that
certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the
other one does NOT have sex.

4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new
generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie
"Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all.

5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look
graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful,
and John Kennedy look moral.

6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled
the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to
avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising.

7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4
imprisonment's from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal
charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton"
scandals.

8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much
of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations"
carefully disguised as necessary trips.

9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of  dollars (I really
didn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more
deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for
all of your globe-trotting.  I understand you, the family and your
cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any
other administration.

10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140
pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile.  We
will love to have them rejoin society.  (Not to mention the scores
you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)

11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware.  I'm sure
that Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway.  Also, enjoy the
housewarming gifts you've received from your "friends."

12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White
House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the
way out.  I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight
(China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens,
magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1.
The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax
dollars spent on jet fuel.  Thank you!

13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million
dollar advance for her "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10
million advance for your memoirs.  Who says crime doesn't pay!

14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing
Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free.  Terrorist pilot Mohammed
Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986.  The Israelis captured,
tried and imprisoned him.  As part of the Oslo agreement with
the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release
so-called "political prisoners".  However, the Israelis would
not release any with blood on their hands.  The American
President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State,
Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.
Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by
flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center.
This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the
time that the terrorists were first identified.  It was censored
in the US from all later reports.  Why shouldn't Americans know
the real truth?

What a guy!!

If you agree that the American public must be made aware of
these facts, pass this on.  God bless America and THANK YOU
(once again) for spending my t axes so wisely and frugally.

SINCERELY,
A US Citizen
PS.
Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing"
the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this
wonderful, factual e-mail.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York
State Senator, now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and
Staffing Plan," which means that even if she never gets
reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she
dies.  (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension
eligible after only 4 years?)

If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies.
He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies.
If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies.
Guess who pays for that?

WE DO!

It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY
residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale
Chappaqua, New York.  Makes sense.  They are entitled to Secret
Service protection for life.  Still makes sense.

Here is where it becomes interesting.  Their mortgage payments
hover at around $10,000 per month.  BUT, an extra residence HAD
to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service
agents.

The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent
for the use of that extra residence, which is just about equal to
their mortgage payment.  This means that we, the taxpayers, are
paying the Clinton 's salary, mortgage, transportation, safety
and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff --
and, this is all perfectly legal!

When she runs for President, will you vote for her?

How many people can YOU send this to?

Normally, I figure the longer Norsefires blame Clinton for every evil in the world, the longer it will take them to deal with reality, and the more time those of us who are not brain-dead, fascist thugs will have to try and take this country back. But I just can't let this go.

First, this has been circulating around the internet for nearly three years, with various attributions. Given that everything in it is a shrieking point straight out of Radio Norsefire and BTN, it is highly unlikely it was written by a Democrat. It probably wasn't even written by a single person.

On to the substance:
1. Actually that brilliant legal mind Ken Starr introduced us to these ladies during his illegally expanded Whitewater investigation. He had to find something to pin on Clinton after blowing $60 million.
2. Once again, thank Starr. None of that had a damned thing to do with anything, but Radio Norsefire and BTN needed shrieking points, so they made it into something. BTW, if US Citizen didn't know any more than that about BJs by the time he was in college, where did he go, BYU? And with all the closet cases there, he should have known about BJs anyway.
3. Not one work-place sexual harassment allegation against Clinton while in the White House has ever been backed by anything that can be called evidence. Kathleen Willey's story has more holes than Dick Cheney's hunting partners. As for outside the White House, Paula Jones's case was dismissed, although Clinton settled with her afterward to get rid of her. Juanita Broaddrick has flip-flopped her story so many times you'd think it was a pancake, and every non-whore journalist and attorney who has looked at it has torn it apart.
4. No, a Rethuglican Congress intent on a witch hunt introduced us to impeachment. The attack on Bin Laden was part of an ongoing and successful anti-terrorist campaign (that Chimpy muffed). See this link.
5. Whatever.
6. Try backing this with sources, assclown. You can't. I won't even go into all the Reagan/Bush people who were indicted, took the Fifth, were convicted, etc.
7. Ditto. There was one Whitewater indictment, and it was dismissed because the court ruled it was Starr who had broken the law. All the other indictments were of people who refused to co-operate in his illegal investigation. Go here to read about another "success" of the Blessed St. Starr.
8. Huh? Concerning travel, you seem to be confusing Clinton with Bush I (His term was also known as the "Anywhere But America Tour."). Concerning wrecking foreign policy, you're obviously confusing Clinton with Bush II. As for the military, is that the same one that, in spite of a direct attack on the Pentagon, was able to initiate an invasion of Afghanistan less than four weeks after 9/11?
9. See 8. More bullshit. And I suppose all those trips to Crawford, or the post-Katrina fly-over of New Orleans, or landing on an aircraft carrier, or McCain's recent tour of Iraq were all free.
10. Yep, he granted some pardons. And Ford pardoned Nixon. And we'll see how sharp Chimpy's pardon pen gets next year. Anywho, what's worse, pardoning people, or executing minors and the mentally handicapped as Chimpy did while guv in Tex-ass.
11. More bullshit. If there were any truth to this, the Rethuglican-controlled Congress would have had GAO torpedoes all over it. I have yet to hear "Fire one."
12. Yet more bullshit. See 11.
13. What crimes? Oh, maybe you're talking about Halliburton, Enron, and the rest of Chimpy's cronies. You have a hard time remembering which president you're talking about, don't you.
14. This is a lie. Look here. It was a different Atta. That's why responsible news media pulled the story.
Gore inventing the Internet: Norsefire shrieking point lie. Look here. This was wholly manufactured by RWNJ pundits.
Pensions: Lie. Look here. Ironic that a Norsefire should bring up pensions, given that the last three Rethuglican presidents have done all in their power to dismantle every middle and working class pension in the country.
Charging the Secret Service. Another lie. Look here.

There's enough bullshit here to fertilize every cornfield in Iowa.

Op-Ed Idiots

2007-03-19T08:50:00.000-06:00

Well, I just finished this morning's Salt Lake Tribune, and we have a couple of morons in the letters to the editor.

First this, though. To all you Norsefires: Rocky Anderson is not an embarrassment. He's speaking out against your people, who are an embarrassment. Chances are he's not even your mayor, so STFU.

On to the letters. David Anderson, Col., U.S. Army (Ret.), accuses Congressional Democrats of cutting resources to the armed forces. The troops should thank their lucky stars this guy is retired, because that "Ret." must actually stand for "Retarded." To quote Agent Smith, "Mr. Anderson, still using every muscle except the one that counts." Who went to war with "the army we had" and then did nothing to make up the equipment shortfalls beyond throwing money at Halliburton? Who underfunded the entire medical system? Who is sending the walking and not-so-walking wounded back to Iraq? Congressional Democrats aren't trying to cut resources for the armed forces; they're trying to scale missions back to match the resources available. With all due respect, Colonel, I think those birds on your shoulders represent nothing other than the sort of brain you have.

Moron No. 2: Newell K. Thornton, who chimes in on the U.S. Attorney firings. He takes issue with a commentator on NBC who said that these midterm firings have no precedent in recent administrations. "Au contraire," sayeth Newell. "Clinton fired all the U.S. Attorneys when he took office in 1993." First, it must be handy to be a Rethuglican and know you will be able to blame Clinton for everything for all time. It's certainly easier than thinking. And honesty. Second, get your head out of your Radio Norsefire, Newell. What part of "midterm" don't you understand? Clinton replaced the attorneys when he took office, which every president does. Chimpy just sacked eight attorneys, which about doubles the number of midterm firings made at least since WWII and perhaps since 1900, and he lied about the reason to boot. Any other brilliant comments, Newell?

Keep Supporting Those Troops, Chimpy

2007-03-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

Interesting news from the Senate Judiciary Committee's investigation into the firing of the Gonzales Seven, the U.S. District Attorneys who were summarily sacked for failing to abuse their offices and enforce the Norsefire party line with sufficient zeal. David Iglesias was the DA who was canned for refusing to base his prosecutorial decisions on political pressure and bias. The excuse the neoconjobbers have for his sacking is that he was gone too much. Why was he gone so much? He's in the Naval Reserve, which they knew when they appointed him. So while Chimpy and his minions pound the pulpit about supporting our troops, including holding jobs for Guard and Reserve members who are called away to serve, they have no problem using Reserve duty as an excuse for sacking one of their own employees. Way to go, you chickenhawk chickenshits.

Speaking of pantsloads in today's paper...

2007-02-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

...did you see the Faith section in today's Salt Lake Tribune? 800 fundies at the Ogden Marriott waving their hands in the air and rolling on the floor having Jesusgasms. Hard to believe there are that many pathetic, brain-damaged losers out there desperately seeking somebody or something to foist responsibility for their lives on. It does explain, though, why this country keeps acting like a bunch of anti-learning, anti-science, anti-human rights peasants. It also explains why Chimpy McSmirkster, regardless of what he does, can still count on the approval of one-third of the citizenry.

Not So Amazing Grace

2007-02-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

There's a new movie out called Amazing Grace, about the William Wilberforce and the UK abolitionist movement. I won't sell Wilberforce short; he pulled off a gargantuan task. But the movie is historical revisionism of the Christian apologetic stripe, and in today's paper, Rich "Right Wing Ho Boy" Lowry joins the revision.

Lowry and the movie want to give all the credit for abolition to Christian ethics. This pantsload breaks on two rocks. First, Christianity had few qualms about slavery until the Enlightenment came as a backlash to all things clerical and superstitious and crammed the novel idea universal rights down Christianity's gullet. Second, the real reason the slave trade was abolished was something else neoconjobbers like Lowry should appreciate: war time expediency.

In 1807 the UK was fighting for survival against Napoleon. With a string of victories such as Jena and Austerlitz, Napoleon had knocked Britain's allies out of the war and taken control of the continent. The British war effort was reduced to Wellington's irregular war on the Iberian Peninsula and the Royal Navy's increasingly strained efforts to rule the waves. The Navy's chief and most successful task was trade interdiction, through blockades and high seas seizures. One of the things the Navy was trying to choke off was France's access to slave labor. While the British colonies used slaves, the French, Spanish, and Dutch colonies were wholly dependent on the slave trade. Stopping the trade would cripple those colonies.

The problem was there was no way to stop just part of the trade. Seized slave ships always claimed to be heading to Jamaica or some other British port but if released always seemed to find their way to French/Spanish/Dutch colonies or to US ports (which was an open market for French slavers). The only answer was to shut the whole thing down, so the UK did.

Of course the legislation banning the trade was accompanied by all sorts of high-sounding rhetoric about human rights and Christian charity, and some of it was undoubtedly sincere, but the reason Wilberforce finally got the legislation passed after so many fruitless years was that at that moment abolition coincided with the expediencies of national security.

Oh those altruistic conservatives

2007-02-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well, my favorite fucked up duck, Malnard Fillpants (See my 20 Aug. 06 post.), shot his bill off on the comics page again yesterday. He shoveled the old hooey about conservatives giving more to charity than liberals, citing a column by Jonah Goldberg. Goldberg is, of course, an impeccable source, given that he's a right-wing whore and can't tell the difference between criminal and noncriminal behavior (See my 6 Oct. 06 post.).

Goldberg's source isn't any better, although it looks good on the surface. I'm referring to Arthur C. Brooks's Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism. Brooks is a professor at Syracuse, but he gets his real scratch from the American Enterprise Institute (As Mark Twain put it, "Show me where a man gets his corn pone, and I'll show you where he gets his opinions."), so he's paid to preach the Norsefire party line. His book purports to show that conservatives donate more than liberals. Of course it seriously downplays another point its sources make, namely that liberals are more likely to volunteer time. It also only pretends to deal with the issue of income discrepancy between liberals and conservatives. After all, if conservatives make more than liberals, it only follows they would have more to donate. Brooks has four data sources: the Social Capital Community Benchmark Survey (SCCBS) and three more recent General Social Surveys (GSS). The GSS are drawn from statistically representative samples; the SCCBS is not. The SCCBS says liberals make more money; the three more recent GSS say conservatives do. Guess which data set Brooks uses?

Setting aside the questionable scholarship, let's look at reality. Where does conservative charity go? Churches. How much of that really goes to charity? If you're Catholic, how much of it goes to pay lawsuits over pederast priests? If you're evangelical, how much goes to build megachurches, defend abortion clinic protesters, or lobby for anti-gay legislation? If you're Mormon, how much goes to the billionth cookie-cutter ward house (The LDS Church has more churches than McDonald's has served hamburgers.) or buying downtown property for a commercial development? Let's take a measurement of how much conservative charity actually goes to charity.

While we're at it, let's measure how charitable your lifestyle is. Do you ever stop to think of the effects on the poorest people on this planet of your SUV, your McMansion, your sweatshop-made clothes, your opposition to labor and environmental protections? Have you ever thought about how much charity has been made necessary by your systematic dismantling of the social safety net? In all your compassion and all your giving, has any of this even crossed your mind?

What is with these people?

2007-02-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we had the big briefing over the weekend in which Chimpy's Minions presented their evidence that Iran is supplying the Shi'ites in Iraq with serious weaponry. It was a PowerPoint presentation, with all the usual substance of such presentations (i.e. none), and its centerpiece was an explosively formed penetrator, or EFP, which is an anti-armor round. A guy at work was telling me all about this conclusive evidence of official Iranian involvement. The guy isn't an idiot, at least not in the functional sense, but he is an ortho-Mormon, which means he gets all his news and opinions from Approved Sources, and the only sources The Brethren have approved that aren't actually owned by the LDS Church are BTN, Radio Norsefire, and VB. Let's face it, the LDS Church and the Republican Party are symbiotic parasites that live shoulder-deep in each other's colons.

Given this limited range of sources, my coworker hasn't heard that everyone outside of Neoconjob World believes this evidence to be complete crapola. He hasn't heard that many sources consider it a bit odd that, even though we have a pile of Iranian and Iraqi Shi'ite prisoners, none of them has provided any evidence of involvement by the Iranian government or the Islamic Republican Guard. He hasn't heard that inquiring minds want to know why those weapons have English instead of Farsi on them and why they are in NATO sizes instead of the Russian sizes Iran typically uses. He hasn't heard that this sounds just like the trumped-up crap the Neoconjobbers used to justify the Iraq war in the first place. Of course he also believes that earlier trumped-up crap wasn't trumped-up crap because that's what his religious and political Fuehrers want him to believe.

Why does he live life with his head parked in his rectum? Simple. He wants to get to Heaven. Not just any Heaven, mind you, but the Celestial Kingdom, where he and his wife get to be gods of their own world and spend eternity pumping out spirit children to populate it. He wants to be able to pack his genitalia to Heaven. If you don't make it to the Celestial Kingdom, (and let's face it, nobody who believes as this blog does is going anywhere near it), then you're going genitalia-less. Frankly, I can live with that, because at least I'll be able to take my brain along. This is a message for all you religious types: If I have to check my brain to enter your Heaven, it doesn't sound like much of a paradise.

Election

2006-12-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

Wow. We have a new Congress. I so wanted to tag that Orrin Hatch billboard on I-15 that said "Clout." Wanted to spraypaint a question mark after it. No more shepherding Nazis onto the federal bench. Poor Orrin.

Of course it remains to be seen how quickly the Dems will start in-fighting and give it all away. We're already in the process of giving away the '08 race. Who in their right mind could back Gore? Hillary has the chance of a snowball in Hell. And I'm afraid Obama would get gunned down by one of the cracker-asses who are still the majority in this country.

Fearless Forecast

2006-11-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

So, Election Day is here. What do I think the results will be? Well, here in Utah, that's easy: continued one party rule by Norsefire, courtesy all the little, Mormy sheeple who let their senile leaders do their thinking for them. I just can't wait for Mitt Romney to be elected president in '08.

Nationally? Norsefire maintains its current margin in the Senate, made even greater by Lieberman's re-election. The Blight House can count on at least one Democratic senator with his nose so far up Chimpy's backside all your can see are the soles of his feet. Norsefire will lose its majority in the House, but by so small a margin it won't matter. Democratic infighting will once again throw away any majority. And Norsefire will maintain majorities at the state level, thus setting the stage for more gerrymandering and more Norsefire safe seats.

Do I believe voting fraud will be the cause of these pathetic results? No. Norsefire is committing election fraud left and right, but that won't be the crucial reason for the result. The problem is the Dems don't know what they're doing. You can always count on them to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and this is no exception.

How 'bout them GOP family values?

2006-10-06T17:47:00.000-06:00

This Foley sex scandal just keeps getting deeper and deeper. Hastert does his Sgt. Schultz imitation, "I know nuthink. NUTHINK!" Reynolds says, "Hey I reported to Hastert, I did my part." It was a crime, shithead, why didn't you report it to the cops? Speaking of cops, every one of these hyper-righteous hypocrites should be up on obstruction charges. BTN and Radio Norsefire are spinning like mad. Lameball says the kid was enjoying the attention. Sorry, Lush, that line didn't work for Mary Kay LeTourneau, and it shouldn't work here. The VB columnists are hard at it, too. Today, Jonah Goldberg once again trotted his whoredom out for all to see by accusing liberals of hyprocrisy for the following: not condemning Bill Clinton for raping Monica Lewinski (yeah, right) and not forcing Gerry Studds to resign for doing the same as Foley. Jonah, if you were any more full of shit, it would be oozing out your pores. Wait a minute, what's that smell?

Here's reality: First, there was NO evidence of nonconsensual sex between Clinton and Lewinski. If there had been, you can bet the witch-hunters would have thrown that log on the fire. Second, Lewinski was OF AGE, so it was LEGAL to have sex with her, Jonah. Third, the pages Studds approached and had sex with were OF AGE, so it was LEGAL to have sex with them, too. Foley was engaged in criminal activity. Clinton and Studds weren't. Think you can see the difference there, Jonah?

Free speech is SO inconvenient

2006-09-05T15:43:00.000-06:00

Chimpy and his entourage have left town, and now it's time to listen to the Reponazis decry the exercise of free speech the public had the temerity to display in protesting Chimpy's ever-growing list of impeachable offenses. The favorite target is Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson, who according to the bleating sheeple failed to show the Unpresident proper respect. Ironic, since Chimpy and the neo-conjobbers have shown no respect to the people nor this country's laws and traditions. Anyway...

There was a lot of anti-Rocky shit-shoveling in Sunday's paper. Mike Barton of Kaysville accused Rocky of being a Bolshevik because he raised his fist in the air (Earth to Mike: Lots of movements have used that sign, including the civil rights movement. Oh, that's right, you never heard about the civil rights movement because you didn't have to start treating those uppity darkies like humans here in Utah until 1977, and you personally haven't accepted it yet.). Jim Ritchie of Heber City accused him of bad leadership (Hey Jim, first, you're from Heber City, not Salt Lake City. He's not your mayor, so shut the fuck up and go back to Heber with your millionaire buddies who will NEVER have to send a kid to Iraq. Second, you close your letter, "I have never seen such a display of poor taste and bad leadership." May I suggest you take an honest look at the heroes inhabiting the White House?).

The best, though, is from Todd Weiler, chair of the Davis County Republican Party, who accused Rocky of failing to represent his constituents. Todd, YOU'RE not a constituent. You're from Davis County, which isn't even in the same COUNTY (although you could always go hang with Mike Barton, who IS in your county). That means that not even any of your CONSTITUENTS are Rocky's constituents, so you aren't even talking for THEM. You're just another right-wing whore blowing it out your ass.

Chimpy McSmirkster's Road Show...

2006-08-30T09:47:00.000-06:00

...blew into town yesterday leaving traffic blocked by the mountains of bullshit. One of the main talking points has been Hurricane Katrina (Man are they desperate to avoid dealing with Iraq.). One of their main media whores, Rich Lowry of the National Review, has an op-ed piece titled "Uncontrollable events saddle Bush's presidency" in the paper this morning, and it's all about Katrina and how Bush couldn't help it. First, Rich, Katrina was an event, not "events." Second, how do you figure that ignoring global warming so that the hurricane season keeps getting worse, siphoning Corps of Engineer levee funds off to pay for Iraq, and delaying Federal response until after the storm had already hit to be beyond Chimpy's control? Unless you're arguing that Chimpy's bowels are beyond his control, which I can believe, but all you've done there is shift the blame to the Cheney-Rumsfeld-Rove Cartel.

But Massuh Buttars Only Whups us a Little

2006-08-24T08:46:00.000-06:00

Yet another salvo of silliness from Chris Butthead, this time with support from the local Republican Bund. Butthead shot his mouth off on the radio in Logan this week, saying that Brown vs. Topeka Board of Education, which ordered the ending of forced segregation in public schools, was wrongly decided and an example of improper, liberal, judicial activism. He further believes that desegregation has had a negative effect on minority students (How ending a separate and deliberately inferior education system hurts minorities is a question Butthead is a bit vague on.).

Butthead has backstroked a bit this week, claiming he was taken out of context (Which is a bald-assed lie. The whole interview was taped, and there was no "out of context" about it.), but he hasn't disclaimed the statements. The local Reponazis, though, have jumped right in and backed their boy. SL County Repoop Chair James "Don't Call me Uncle Tom" Evans said that Butthead is right because busing has divided neighborhoods. Hey Jimmy, Brown didn't order busing. Busing came later when Reponazis and their Dixiecrat allies in state legislatures and school boards nullified Brown by refusing to fund schools in minority neighborhoods. Don't blame the courts because your cronies were trying to maintain the plantation system.

And don't go holding yourself out as a shining example of not needing all that affirmative action crap either, Jimmy. You know that you and a select group of others such as Clarence "I'm not an Uncle Tom, I'm Scalia's Bitch" Thomas are where you are because the Grand Old Lily-White Party desperately needed some token people of color to trot out at conventions. You and I both know that until 1978, when the LDS Church finally decided, "Hey, maybe the darkies are human beings after all; and take down the Coon Chicken sign, will you," you were on a fast track to being a shoeshine boy, not a state senator.

If you were smart, Jim, you'd find a replacement for Butthead. But you're not smart. After all, who's the bigger fool: the fool state senator, or the fool party chair who has his back?

Speaking of Whining RWNJs...

2006-08-20T23:26:00.000-06:00

... how about the nutter in Idaho who didn't want to give his social security number to the department of licensing because he considers it "the mark of the beast?" A federal law requires the collection of the SSN. The nutter argued that this violated his state right to religious freedom. The Idaho court ruled that the Supremacy Clause says that federal law trumps state law (Duh!), so the nutter had to provide his SSN. The nutter's attorney was purportedly shocked over this, which left me scratching my head until I learned that the attorney was Herb Titus. Titus is walking proof that a Harvard law degree does not necessarily mean you know diddly jack shit about law. He was founding dean of Rat Robberson's Regent University Law School. In 1996 he was the VP candidate of the US Taxpayer Party (now the Constitution Party), which chiefly advocates for a biblical foundation for government and believes most of the federal government is unconstitutional. He and Roy Moore, the Alabama Supreme Court nutjob who did the nocturnal installations of the Ten Commandments rock, codrafted the Constitution Restoration Act, which would have provided for the impeachment of any federal judge who tried to maintain the separation of church and state.

I suppose these raving hypocrites will now accuse the Idaho judges of being liberal, activist judges since they did not accept Titus's divine revelation and reverse the US Constitution.

Stupid Comic Tricks

2006-08-20T19:10:00.000-06:00

The Salt Lake Tribune insists on publishing a right-wing-nut-job (RWNJ) crapfest comic called "Mallard Fillmore" (It also insists on publishing "Rose is Rose," but that is a complete nothingburger intended to avoid offending anyone and, while nauseating and in its own way insidious, it is ignorable.). The author of this comic strip is probably too big an idiot to realize how apropos the title is. Millard Fillmore, after finishing his stint as accidental POTUS, became the head of the Know-Nothing Party, the biggest collection of racist, anti-Catholic, anti-Semitic, anti-immigrant rednecks in the mid-19th Century US. This comic upholds that proud tradition.

This morning the shit-shoveling anidae revisited a topic near and dear to his heart: how conservative faculty members are being oppressed on college campuses. Having had contact with a few dozen universities of all stripes, I can say with confidence, "You are one shit-stuffed duck." Except at the private conservative schools such as Regent and BYU, the faculties were a mix of conservative and liberal, and no one seemed terribly muzzled.

The duck's chief source is the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE). This outfit has won a few cases of neutral substance that it trumpets on its website, but essentially it defends faculty members who either promote right-wing Christianity or oppose anti-hate-speech policies. They like claiming that Christians are oppressed, too, but I must say I have never seen Maranatha, Campus Crusade, or Fellowship of Christian Athletes heckled, accosted, or flat barred from campus the way I've seen happen to minority religions, and the degree of Christian cramdown in athletics is sick.

FIRE claims to be libertarian. The problem with libertarians (and any Randonazi mainlining Atlas Shrugged) is that their philosophy boils down to, "I don't want to, and you can't make me." That is the philosophy of 13-year-olds, and 13 is the age you hope most that kids can make it through without killing themselves or your having to kill them. Not much to base a society on, unless you want Lord of the Flies. It's also rather odd that the only rights they're interested in are conservative ones. Hmmm....

Sorry, Mal-nard, you're a whore, and so is your "authority."

Injustice update

2006-08-17T17:29:00.000-06:00

Well, my friend saw another doctor today and is now back out in the free world. Today's doctor concluded that a religious epiphany is not a basis for committing someone and that yesterday's doctor had shown no basis for committing her, and cut her loose. She doesn't want to sue anyone, but in my not so humble opinion that quack should not be free to do this to anyone else.

And speaking of terrorists...

2006-08-17T16:57:00.000-06:00

... there's always Chris Butthead, er, Buttars, the state senator from Waste Jordan who wasted a whole lot of legislative time last session trying to get creationism into the science curriculum and is now trying to give the legislature the power to revoke its confirmation of any judge who makes a ruling the legislature disagrees with. Of course the legislature already has the power to amend any law it thinks has been misinterpreted by the judiciary. Problem is that Butthead is having trouble getting any of his legislation passed and is afraid he wouldn't be able to pull off any reversals by legislation. What's the matter, Chris, not feeling the love? Lyle Hillyard and the Guv have certainly distanced themselves from your latest, steaming pile of poo. That's what you get for being Gayle Ruzicka's lapdog. Makes you wonder what the folks out in Waste Jordan are thinking when they keep re-electing this monument to muck.

Borin' Orrin Shovels the Party Line

2006-08-17T16:43:00.000-06:00

Our rapidly fossilizing senior senator has joined the other GOP tub-thumpers in the latest smear-and-fear tactic "Terrorists Want you to Vote Democratic." What a load of horse hockey. Terrorists LOVE the current White House. Chimpy and the Neoconjobbers left the Taliban active in Afghanistan, couldn't catch bin Laden (Let's do a comparison here. Length of time it took a Dem White House to crush Hitler and Tojo: 3 years, 8 months. Length of time the GOP White House has been looking for bin Laden: 4 years, 11 months. Hmmm.), destroyed any chance of making Hamas and Hizbullah legitimate, political organizations and pushed them exclusively into the terrorist camp for another couple of generations, turned Iraq into a breeding ground for terrorists, etc., etc., etc. Now, Orrin, run it past me again just how it is that the Dems are the ones promoting terrorism.

Justice

2006-08-17T00:45:00.000-06:00

Somewhat more sober than the last. Well, maybe not. I was just testing some quick-siting with my Browning HP .40, though, and I can assure you I would still be going for head shots.

I used to believe in law. I realize now, though, that law increasingly interferes with justice. Screw law. Enforce justice.

State of the Union

2006-08-17T00:16:00.000-06:00

Blogging Under the Influence. GUILTY!

I've watched V for Vendetta twice this evening. Why? Well, first I met over the weekend with a couple of friends. It was the first time I had seen him since he had been released from over four months of custody. His crime? DWB (Driving While Brown) in counties of Idaho where the cops are all skinheads (Canadian border down to Boise.). He's from Iran, so he must be a terrorist (The irony is that he's a Christian and fled Iran to avoid persecution. Great fucking lot of good it did him.). Then today a friend of mine was tossed into a psych ward because she was having religious visions. First, the only basis for an involuntary commit is if the subject is a threat to herself of others. and my friend is harmless. Second, if she'd walked in and said she'd seen the Three Nephites (It's a Mormon thing.), the doctor would have given her another prescription of whatever she was on and sent her home to her patriarchal husband. In other words, this is discriminatory bullshit. The time will soon come when I post the names of the lying sack of shit quack and his lackeys who locked her up.

Feeling comfortable? Then you're fucking stupid. If you are 1/100 of a standard deviation from the norm, you are already suspect. Sooner or later they will get you. Chimpy McSmirkster and his neoconjob buddies have already made this country a hopeless case. This country was born of The Enlightenment, but we now stand against everything The Enlightenment was: reason, individualism, freedom. We are a nation of ignorant, fearful, hateful peasants. The time will soon come when this blog will be impossible from within the US, but by then my family and I will be elsewhere. We shall shoot our way out if necessary, but we shall be out.

Why I Don't Like KKKountry Music

2006-08-15T11:39:00.000-06:00

I am a musician, and I've played a lot of different music, but there are kinds I really can't stand. (C)Rap comes immediately to mind. Contrary to politically correct opinion, it really takes no talent to do that shit. How hard is it to rhyme when you ignore grammar and syntax and make up words as needed?

Another aversion is country-western, aka shit-kicking goat roper music. It sounds like it's produced by people whose family trees don't fork. Case in point. I was scanning across the FM dial the other day, and I stumble across some "song" by some twanger. He was outraged by those of us who have the effrontery to oppose the illegal war in Iraq that El Presidente Chimpy McSmirkster and his gang of neoconjob thugs got us into. Anyway, Tex Inbred's main "argument" was, "Don't you remember what it felt like that day," i.e. 9/11.

Reality to Tex: Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks. All the tub thumping by Pawn Scammity, Shill O'Really, Michael Savage Wiener, Lush Lameball, etc. to the contrary, Iraq has never been linked to the attacks. I'd tell you to think it through for yourself, Tex, except I know your reinforced recessives have rendered that impossible. So I'll be nice and ask you to do something that should be within your severely reduced capacity: If you don't know what you're talking about, shut up.

Intro, of sorts

2006-08-14T15:20:00.000-06:00

OK, initial rant over. If you've read it, you're probably sayin, "Hey, you're not a moderate!" Incorrect. I prefer to think on a global scale, though. The rest of the world views the Democratic Party as a centrist party, with positions running from a bit left of center to a bit right of center. The GOP is viewed as running from a bit right of center to fringe right. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, there is no left in the USA.

You will also notice that I use certain code words. Here are a few:

BTN: right-wing TV such as Fux Spews.
Radio Norsefire: right-wing radio, such as Michael Savage Wiener and Lush Lameball.
VB: right-wing publishers and publications such as Washington Slimes and American Expectorator.

BTN and Radio Norsefire are lifts from V for Vendetta, which I highly recommend. "VB" stands for Voelkische Beobachter, the Nazi Party organ.

It Begins

2006-08-14T13:16:00.000-06:00

Alright, here it is, the rant zone I've been craving. Before I get to the intros, though, I need to deal with what finally pushed me over the edge and made me create this blog: an article in this morning's Des News about an old professor of mine cum political spinmeister, Dan Jones. Go here to read the article. It seems Dan was pontificating yesterday about why Democrats don't get traction in Utah. His conclusion: The Dems should blame themselves because they do not cater to Utah tastes. Let's look at his "evidence."

1. The Dems have no exit strategy for Iraq, and simply setting an exit date is not enough. I agree that simply setting a date is not enough, but how does that contrast with the GOP position (Remember, Dan is trying to give reasons people choose GOP over Dem.)? The GOP definitely don't have an exit date, and staying the course until my grandkids get drafted can't pass for a strategy. Besides, the GOP didn't have an entry strategy either, just a date, and everybody thought that was fine. Not much of a contrast there, Dan. As for civil war getting under way in Iraq, and Iran and Syria meddling, which party's policy (or rather lack of same) created that state of affairs, Dan?

2. The Dems have no immigration policy. Neither does the GOP. Building a wall is not a policy. Ask the Soviets. No meaningful contrast there, Dan.

3. Dems weren't willing to compromise to make the minimum wage increase happen. Of course the only possible compromise would have been to allow the GOP tax cuts for the rich pass. How many Utahns who care about minimum wage don't already vote Dem? Sorry Dan, try again.

4. Dems are pro-choice and pro-same-sex marriage, and Utahns don't like that. Yep, about 75% of Utahns don't. I've always considered it odd that a group that believes the Constitution was divinely inspired has no qualms about editing out the civil rights parts. But I have to credit Dan on this one; it's definitely a point of contention between the Dems and GOP.

5. Mormons think Dem positions are contrary to church positions. Gee, Dan, ya think? Just because every significant leader in the LDS Church is a retired significant leader of the GOP? And GOP meetings are on church property, while the Dems have to meet wherever they won't get raided? I think you may have gotten to the crux of it, Dan, though you don't want to say it. The Dems believe in the separation of church and state; the GOP and LDS Church don't. According to Dan, the Dems are to blame for this.

6. Utahns can't identify with national Democratic candidates. At least not since George Wallace died and Strom Thurmond switched parties. Just how far should a party go to curry Utah voters? What benefitteth it a party to gain Utah and lose its soul?

That's some interesting nonevidence and pretzel logic you have there, Dan. I knew you left academe to make more money, but apparently there was another reason: You have the reasoning skills of a gerbil. Folks, the next time you see a Dan Jones Poll, remember that it was drafted to deliver the results Dan's Masters of the Right have paid for.