16 March 2010

Utah, A Pretty Fuckin' Sick State

So Kevin Garn, Majority Leader of the Utah House and all-around upstanding rich white Mormon guy, has resigned his seat because he did some nekkid hot-tubbing with a 15-year-old girl.  There's no way to be familiar with Utah and be shocked by this.  Unfortunately, there's also no way to be shocked by the response when it all became public.  This place is that diseased.  The Des Spews (and maybe the Trib) deep-sixed the story when they got it several years ago, the LDS Church tried to cover it up (I wonder if the Vatican will bitch about the Mormons invading its territory.), and the knuckle-dragging Norsefires are vomiting the same excuses for child molestation I've been hearing here for over 30 years: He's a fine family man/church leader/rich business guy; she's unrighteous; blah, blah, blah;  baa, baa, mooooo; wankity, wankity, wank.  Sick, sick, sick , and hopelessly so.

So out of sheer perversity, I shall now shine the light of reason on one Mormon-assed bullshit pie after another:

BS Pie 1: She's an adult!
Reason: She is now.  She was 15 then.

BS Pie 2: Clinton and Edwards and other Democrats have done it!
Reason: With adults.  You guys have a real hard time figuring out this minor vs. adult thing, don't you.

BS Pie 3: 15 is plenty old enough to know what she wants from a 30-year-old!
Reason: Wow.  Just wow.  With an attitude like this prevalent among the orthodox, it's no wonder bat-shit crazy cults like the FLDS are the way they are.  Or that child molestation is historically the favorite recreational sport in Utah County.

BS Pie 4: She extorted him!
Reason: No, she reached a $150,000 settlement with him.  Which also means he knew he was in seriously deep shit, or he wouldn't have forked over that kind of scratch.

BS Pie 5: She signed a nondisclosure agreement!
Reason: A contract not to report a crime is unenforceable.  Laying your Johnson on a 15-year-old is a crime.  Even in Utah, at least technically.

BS Pie 6: This was all fixed by agreement with the blessing of the Church!
Reason: I know you bilge-barfers believe that in the best of all possible worlds, the LDS Church would once again be the state, but that ain't the way things are, and criminal cases are supposed to be left up to law enforcement and the DA.

BS Pie 7: The Church had no duty to report!
Reason: As a preliminary point, isn't it funny how the ones who would gut the First Amendment by making the LDS Church the state are the first ones to hide behind the First Amendment on points like this?  But I digress.  If the perpetrator had spilled his guts during confessional, you'd be right.  But the LDS Church learned about this from the victim.  And then mediated a settlement.  So you're cosmically wrong.  And the LDS Church cosmically broke the law by failing to report a crime.

BS Pie 8: But the statute of limitation had run!
Reason: Many sex crimes against minors have no statute of limitation.  It's up to law enforcement and the DA to decide whether the facts fit one of those crimes, not an institution with a Hell of a lot to hide.  Plus, if there was a crime involved in the settlement, it wasn't extortion by her, it was witness tampering by him, and that statute hasn't run yet.

The pies go on ad infinitum, but it gets a bit redundant after awhile.

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